Bloom, Baby! Bloom!

Ok, so I need to begin with an apology to those of you who read yesterdays pitty party and were ready to mail the prozac my way. It was just one of those days. I do say, I am much better today. Thank you for your support. I think I just need to vent and get all the yucky out.

It is amazing what God will do for you, if you let Him! After a morning drenched in prayer (thank you to those of you out there who are helping with that!) I feel much better. I cannot control what my husband will choose to do. I cannot force him to see what is plainly in front of him, or how much easier I think life would be for him if he would just open his eyes, and his heart. I CAN, however, choose what I am going to do. I can choose how his behavior will affect me. I am tired of being sad. I am tired of not being the mom and person I know is in me, for fear of ticking off my husband. I have decided to make a change. I am going to change my attitude and try my hardest to be happy. I cannot let his pissiness bring me or my children down any longer. A small light bulb went off today. See, he is often grumpy, whether we have caused it or not. So, why allow him to dictate my attitude? Or that of my children? I am a strong woman and I have God behind me. I know that I have resurrection power running through my veins and the joy of the Lord in my heart. I will not allow my husband to squash that anymore. If he wants to be angry or grumpy, fine. Be grumpy. But I don't have to sit around taking it, and neither do my kids. I haven't made any definite decisions about staying or leaving. I definitely know what my flesh wants, but I am trying to wait patiently on the Lord. I have faith that by the end of the 36 week course I am taking, I will know for sure where He wants me. Then I will just need the cojones to do what it is He is asking of me. lol
For now I will have to bloom where I am planted. Let the Sun shine down on me!