Me, against the world...

With everything going on in my life, several people have made comments like, "well you must be doing something right to have that much against you". I understand that walking with the Lord means that I am walking against the world. I just didn't expect my husband to be a member of "the world".
What do you do when you're torn between earthly things and the will of God? It seems obvious now that I am writing this, "duh! Do God's will!" It's not easy when you have so many people telling you what you should/need to do and how to do it. It's like that movie, "Little Shop of Horrors", the plant that screams, "FEED ME SEYMOORE!" My flesh screams that, over and over again. "Tell me what I want to hear! Give me that one excuse that will get me out of this now!" Instant gratification. The magic pill. Things just aren't that easy. You see, I got myself (and my children) into this mess by making decisions to satisfy my flesh. I left God out of the equation completely.
Everyone knows that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Well, it may have taken me a thousand screw ups and repeats, but I have finally learned. I can't make this decision without God. I have to stay close to him now. I have to do what I know He is asking me to do and trust that He, in His awesome might, will take care of the rest. I know that my God is MUCH bigger than this problem I have been facing. I know that He can, and will help me through this, one way or another.
When God is growing us spiritually, it hurts. It hurts because He is killing a part of the old us. A part that doesn't fit into God's plan. I am not sure what part He is working on in me right now, but it hurts. I do know that He, and only He, can bring me out of this fire refined. I just have to stay out of His way and allow Him to work in and through me.
I need to focus on God's voice and His will for my life. I have to close out the voices of others and the voice of my own flesh. I am leaning in the ever-faithful arms of my Savior. Just where I need to be! May He get the praise and glory!